Sleeping Bunny
by TheShoelessOne
Summary: Fran is Aurora? Balthier is Prince Philip? What has become to our kingdom of Ivalice? AlCid narrates it all.
1. Act One

**CAST**

Narrator - Al-Cid  
Princess Aurora - Fran  
Prince Philip - Balthier  
King Stefan - Basch  
Queen - Vossler  
King Hubert - Dr. Cid  
Flora - Ashe  
Fauna - Penelo  
Merriweather - Vaan  
Malificent - Vayne  
The Crow - Judge Gabranth  
Sampson the Horse - Chocobo  
.featuring.  
Reddas _as_ The Drunken Bard

_Imagine it now, yes? You, me, the sea and Rozzaria. Together we will tell the tale of the Sleeping Viera, and make the beautiful music of my heart.__No, but this is not my story, my friend. This story is story of a much less attractive man, and his wooing of one beautiful woman. And scary, scary demon-man. _

_Where shall I begin, then? Beginning seems to be the best place, but who am I to trust this, no? Long, long time ago, in a land not Rozzaria, lived King Basch and his Queen Vossler. They try for so very long to have a little child, but I thiiink they do not know they are men and cannot have the babies. Nevertheless, they somehow find themselves with the baby, she with the cute furry ears, not quite Hume I think. They name her Fran, after the dawn._

_Or maybe not the dawn. My mind, she forgets._

_All of Ivalice, they gather and sing and dance for the baby. Maybe they are tired of King Basch and his man-queen, I do not know. This of biggest celebrations--which I am not invited to and am miffed so--brings together entire kingdom. Fran is already the popular girl, yes? This is where we come into the story, but fear not, my love, for I shall not leave you. We join with our furry heroine now, on this joyful day._

_Take it, ladies._

"**ON THIS JOYFUL DAY, ON THIS JOYFUL DAAAAY!!**"

"Who said that?" Vossler looked about suspiciously.

"The chorus," Basch said plainly. "They tend to hang about on auspicious occasions such as this."

"No one told me. Will we need extra settings for dinner?"

"The chorus is omniscient."

"... Right." Vossler tapped his fingers impatiently on the throne's arm. "When is your friend coming?"

"Which friend is that?"

"KING BASCH!!" A throaty, over-enthusiastic voice shattered the peace of the great hall, and Basch winced. Vossler planted his face in his palm.

"King Cid," Vossler groaned.

_Ah, yes, the King Cid. You see, before this story starts, I must remind you of the promise King Cid offers to King Basch. Cid is terribly bored with his son, Prince Balthier, and is wanting to pawn him off soon-like on some other kingdom in not-Rozzaria. Promises his little boy to marry this little girl. Ah, love, so sweet and soft, like a flower in the springtime..._

"Ah, King Cid," Basch said as he stood, holding out his hand. "So good to see you well, and with your darling son--"

"YES, good to see all of you, all of you," Cid said quickly, stepping forward to shake hands with Basch jerkily. Vossler deferred the handshake by pretending to find something interesting in the varnish of the throne's arm. "All is fine and good in this world, then, I find? Is it safe to venture, then, that if all is fine and good that all in it are as fine and perhaps good as well? Or, conversely, all is neither fine nor good and must be remedied? Perhaps with some _nethecite_? Did someone say nethecite? I have some right here in my coat pocket--"

"Father," the boy beside him droned, batting Cid's hands away from the nethecite in his pocket, "I am _five_ years old and you embarrass me."

"Go and give the wedding present to your future bride while the grown-ups talk, dear boy," Cid pushed the young Balthier in the direction of the cradle. The boy rolled his eyes and approached the sleepy baby.

He sneered slightly, peering over the edge at the furry creature within. She glared at him in her infant way.

Just as the exchange ended, the herald blew his trumpet, and a bright light shone down from one of the stained glass windows. All looked up as three shimmering figures began to descend, and the herald announced them in a clear voice. "Introducing their esteemed Fairynesses, Mistress Ashe, Mistress Penelo, and Mistress Vaan!"

"Hey!" Vaan called, adjusting his jaunty blue hat as the three of them landed on the cobblestones. "That's _Mister_ Vaan!"

"Sorry, Madame," the herald said, looking at his scroll. "It says here that you are Mistress Vaan. The scroll never lies."

"That is soo not fair," Vaan grumbled, adjusting his puffy blue skirts.

"Stop complaining," Ashe ordered, straightening her tight pink miniskirt and gesturing for the other two to follow her. Penelo bounced giddily.

"We're here to give the baby things!" She announced. Ashe shushed with a glare, curtseying before the royalty.

"King Basch, Queen Vossler," she said, after the other two had curtseyed, "we three fairies are here to bestow wondrous gifts upon your newly born daughter."

"By all means, old friends," Basch gestured toward the baby in the cradle.

Ashe approached first, tugging her little skirt down and raising her wand. "My gift to you, little viera, is the Gift of Beauty."

The voices of the omniscient chorus suddenly swelled around them as Ashe's pink, sparkling magic swirled in the great hall.

"**Little Beauty, fair  
She with the snow-white hair  
Eyes that shame the red, red rose  
Receiving strange glances wherever she goes**."

The singing chorus thankfully surprised no one, and they continued on with the ceremony without hitch. Penelo twirled up to the crib, nearly tripping over her too-long green dress and giggling inanely. "Pretty little child, I give you the Gift of Song!"

The swirling green magic of Penelo was quickly joined by the immaculate, crisp voices of the invisible, ever-present chorus.

"**This is The Gift of Song  
A singing beauty can never go wrong  
A perfect voice will all ears hear  
Bringing a smile and not a sneer**."

Seeing as his turn was next, Vaan hiked up his skirts and waddled over to the crib of Princess Fran. He rolled up his frilled sleeves, holding up his wand and prepared to show the assembled people the best magical gift they'd ever seen.

"Little furry baby, my gift is--"

His spell was interrupted by a sudden ominous gust of wind as the great double-doors of the hall burst inward. Every torch was blown out, throwing the hall into instant darkness, and the howling wind tore through the banners and standards. With a crack of lightning and thunder, and a strange popping noise, a dark and looming figure suddenly swirled into existence, surrounded in a dull green light. Long, slick hair, a devilish sneer, and curving horns topping its head. A staff topped with a glaring crow in full body armor accompanied this devil figure.

"Vayne!" Vossler pointed out, clutching tight to Basch's side for protection.

"Well, this _is_ a party," the sorcerer Vayne noted, looking about at the frightened party-goers. "Isn't it, Gabranth?" He asked the crow sitting atop his staff.

"Caw," Gabranth answered.

"Funny, I don't remember being invited," Vayne pondered, stroking his chin in thought.

"Because no one wanted to look at your stupid face," Vaan sneered, looking indignant in his voluminous dress.

"Stupid fa--" Vayne cut himself off, a dainty hand to his mouth. "Did you hear that, Gabranth?"

"Caw," Gabranth responded.

"So I thought!"

"You aren't _offended_, are you?" Vossler asked, hiding behind King Basch.

"No, no, no, noo, of course not, Queen Vossler. To show just how much I am _not_ offended by your rude gesture, I will bestow your child with a totally non-lethal gift." He held out his arms, the green light around him growing and his long black robes billowing. "Listen, all of you! Princess Fran will indeed grow fair and beloved by all the people of Ivalice. But by her sixteenth birthday, this girl will prick her finger on _a loom_!"

"A loom?" Basch asked incredulously.

"Yes... A _loom_!" Vayne repeated hauntingly. "Oh yes, and she will _die_!"

Gasps of terror went up among the people, and a general panic began to swarm through them. Just as Vayne began his maniacal cackle, Basch stood from his throne and pointed severely and authoritatively at the sorcerer.

"Seize that creature!" He commanded.

Just as the guards surrounded him, Vayne swirled his black cloak around him and, with a popping noise, suddenly disappeared into nothing along with his crow.

Vossler hid his face in his hands and sobbed openly. Basch tried his best to comfort his queen, but to no avail. "Oh, woe!" Vossler cried. "Whatever can we do now for our girl?"

"Act like a man for a moment," Ashe said loudly, eliciting quiet from the surrounding crowd. "Vaan still hasn't given his gift to the princess, you know."

"So he can undo this terrible curse?" Basch asked in a wavering voice.

"Ehh, I don't think so," Vaan admitted, scratching at the back of his neck. "But I guess I could try something."

"I know you can do it, Vaan! I _believe_!" Penelo offered, waving her arms about above her head.

Vaan concentrated very hard, something that looked odd on his features, and he swirled his wand above the baby. "Little furry baby," he said at last, "I got an idea. Instead of getting dead when you touch that loom, you just fall asleep. Oh, and to wake up, you have to have True Love's First Kiss."

"**FOR TRUE LOVE CONQUERS ALL!!**"

"For the love of the Gods, can someone clear that chorus out of here?! I'm going to have a heart attack!"

_Oh, the sadness eats at my empty heart. Never more woe, surely, has there been in time--ever. The King and Queen, they felt a little better knowing their little princess would not die. Sleeping forever is not good either. Morning breath, oh, I am paling to think on you. King Basch, he is not a patient man, and burns alive all of the looms of the place not in Rozzaria. I find this just liiitlte bit silly, for how now they make they clothes, eh? No nevermind, their princess still, she is not safe. How ever they will find a way to keep her from the long, slow sleep of forever? Ladies?_

_"__**TRUE LOVE CONQUERS--**__"_

_No, no, already been sung. Ladies, you must come with me to Rozzaria, for more of the lessons on singing, yes?_

* * *

AN: Hello there, all you kind and gentle people. This is a parody/humor story brought to you by the minds of TheShoelessOne and my lovely brother, a collaboration like we used to do of old. This is based on the Disney version of Sleeping Beauty, not any other production, and many of the jokes are straight from that. We'll be switching off chapters, my brother and I. I did this one, and he does the next. This is HUMOR, and not meant to be taken seriously, therefore if your favorite character is bashed, I apologize, but it's _funny_. All italics are Al-Cid, the narrator. He'll be popping in from time to time. I hope you like, and future chapters are eminent. Thanks for reading, and stay awesome! 


	2. Act Two

**Act Two**

_Ashe, Vaan, and Penelo impatiently kept each others' company, and thought about their predicament over a fairy tea party. I like to think maybe my invitation got lost on the way to Rozarria, yes? Not to say that I would join a fairy tea party, but my birds, they perhaps could use a good drink, no? I digress, though, I loose my meaning in these long, sultry words._

"Oh this is terrible!" Ashe complained, pacing back and forth with her teacup weighing in her hand, "it can't happen this way, I don't have enough control!"

"That big freak Vayne..." Vaan began, his face flushing with anger, much contrasting to the soft aquamarine of his dress, "I'd like to turn him into a Giza Rabbit and cast Flare."

"Oh Vaan, you know we don't have black magic." Ashe complained again, "and besides, Vayne has to be... 40 levels above us, our magic isn't strong enough yet."

"I gotta get more licence points" Vaan thought out loud. Just then, Ashe's eyes lit up in a plan, excitedly bouncing about with the great-ness of it all.

"Ohh, yes... yes, that's it!" she stated, watching Penelo rock back and forth mindlessly, hoping she'll gain some kind of curiosity in her empty brain, but soon gave up, "but, we mustn't say it here, the walls have ears."

"Oh, I do love walls." Penelo added, "There's all so delightfully gray and wall-y. Really nice, really."

"Uh... I like walls too." Vaan angrily inserted, not willing to be outdone on liking things. Ashe's eyebrows furrowed into the cavern of her soul-less scowl and she cast Mini on the lot of them and flung them into a small tea set. Once inside, Ashe's impatience had passed, she wore a grin.

"I'll turn her into a Flowering Cactoid!" Ashe said, as though she had done her civil duty for the day. Penelo squealed with delight and fidgeted in a bizarre way that one watching could presume that she was either very excited or was have a heart attack.

"They are so cute, and nothing would harm her!" Ashe began to back up her logic, proud of her amazing choice. Vaan, on the other hand, though not usually the one to contradict a plan, seeing as he normally isn't paying attention, frowned childishly.

"Yeah, until Vayne casts Blizzaga and ruins it all." he said, promptly killing their optimism and halting Penelo's seizure.

"Oh, he's right, you know. Vayne's always killing random neutral enemies to watch them cry in pain." Penelo added, some recollection still lingering in her head hole. Ashe sighed, sitting down again in a concerned face of deep, mountain-moving thought, if not just hill-moving, which is equally as productive if you are very small at the time, "That Vayne thinks of everything."

"Well, that's not right, Vayne doesn't know everything. He doesn't know proper hair care, or love, or the gift of giving..." Penelo continued on a list of fluffy things that Vayne often killed by looking at them as Ashe's eyes lit up in inspired fury yet again.

"That's it!" Ashe yelled, raising a fist of righteousness. Penelo and Vaan looked on in a flush of callow amusement as that of a child who knows that their father figured out how to cure the Chocobo's hiccups. They asked, caught up in Ashe's fervor, chasing her around.

"What's it, what is it?" she stopped, assured of herself and devilishly smug.

"We'll take her to the forest, I mean, she already looks like those forest people, she'll blend in with the animals... and then... yes..." The gears were visible through her eyes, "Vayne would never suspect!"

"Dammit woman, don't leave me in the dark!" Vaan yelled.

"Oh yes, I don't like the dark. Ever so dark-y." Penelo whined, a look of fear and wonder on her confused features.

"Well, let's say she spends those sixteen years growing up in a humble cottage, as a peasant!" Ashe said, containing her grin. Vaan look skeptical... again.

"Why, who in their right mind would take a furry baby and raise her for sixteen years?" he voiced, crossing his arms over his silky man-dress.

"Turn around!" Ashe said, pointing the spoon reflecting the un-delightful image of their backsides. Before they could obey, she tapped her staff in the air and they suddenly wore peasant clothes. Seeing his image, Vaan jumped back in shock.

"We're gonna raise her? But... but she's furry! Who knows what kind of unseen complications that entails!" He held out his newly red threads, "and I am SO not into fall colors!"

"Oh, don't be a worrywart, we'll be fine parents! We'll raise her fine, I mean, whatever a furry baby needs..."

"Oh yes!" Penelo said, clapping her hands together in a upwards look of hopeful things, "We'll bathe her and hug her and rock her to sleep! Oh, I mean, if that's what a furry baby needs..."

"Well, I still think it's a rotten idea." Vaan carped, magically changing his garb to blue, since he is more of a winter woman, "How can we live like mortals, we don't know how!"

"Oh, we'll learn!" Ashe said, not leaving any room for protest, grabbing up Penelo's staff, "Now, we'll be needing to get rid of these! Oh, and our wings!" She tapped the wand again and Penelo's wings disappeared into a puff of sparkles. Vaan angrily held onto his, following in a chase by the persistent Ashe until she finally released him of it, "Now! Let's away, we must tell King Basch and Queen Vossler right away!"

_So the fairies, they told the king and his awkward queen of their plan, and although he was very, oh so very sad, this king watch from his balcony as his small baby was shuffled off in the night to... the forests of the glorious Rozarria! Ah yes, yes, I kid. Though, I am sure this would have been a good thing, no? Is it too late? Oh, my timing is so tragic. I must go weep in my chambers in the comfort of my birds. If you do not mind... AWAY WITH ME._

* * *

AN: hihi, this is theshoelessone's brother, who is writing this chapter. we're exchanging chapters, as seems right... and this is mine. hmm... i like even numbers. my an's won't be capitalized, i hope you don't care, i really don't like capital letters. so, i don't have much to say. i hope you like it, i know i'm not like my sister, but i hope it doesn't interrupt your reading experience at all... lalalala... :) 


	3. Act Three

**Act Three**

_Sixteen of the years are spent searching for the little furry baby, and Sorceress Vayne, he looks every-which-where for her. Most of all, everyone knows that Castle Behemoth, the scary, overly-gothic castle on aptly-named Forbidden Mountains--oh, the names, they slay me!--thunders with wrath and anger and other not-nice emotions while little furry baby still lives._

"This is ridiculous!" Vayne cried, shooting purple lightning out of his staff at random. His followers cringed. "How hard can it be to find one little rabbit-eared person? She couldn't have cast Vanish, not at her level!" Vayne leveled a finger at one of the lackeys gathered around him. "Are you _sure_ you looked everywhere, Larsa?"

"Yes," Larsa answered, frowning at the accusatory finger in his direction. "All the houses, the towns, every hi-potion shop--"

"--and all the cradles!" one lackey chimed in over Larsa's shoulder. Vayne went very still.

"Cradles?" Vayne's eye twitched, and Larsa began backing away slowly.

"Yeah, allll the cradles," the same lackey grinned idiotically.

Vayne's eye twitched again, more violently. "_Cradles_?!" He looked to his crow for solace. "Do you hear that, pet? These mindless idiots have been looking for a baby the whole time."

"Caw?" Gabranth questioned. At this, Vayne broke into gales of maniacal, ridiculous convulsing laughter. The imperial soldiers surrounding him tentatively began to join in, Larsa having backed away to the exit preemptively. Suddenly, Vayne shot purple lightning at the ranks of his lackeys.

"FOOLS!!" Lightning bounced around the room dangerously. "IDIOTS!! AH--Oh, dear, I've forgotten my thesaurus. Gabranth?"

"Caw," Gabranth suggested.

"Ah, yes, thank you. IMBECILES!!" The last crack of lightning disappeared as the lackeys all fled the room. Vayne sank into his overly-elaborate throne with a sigh. "It's so hard to find evil help these days. Gabranth, you are my last hope. Fly far and wide, and search for a viera of sixteen--hair of pure white and eyes red as the rose. _Now go._"

"Caw," Gabranth answered. He then took to the wing and fluttered out the nearest window.

_The fairies, they hide the girl well in the woods not of Rozarria, and raise her from the baby. Thankfully, we skip over the baby mess, for I have dreadfully sensitive stomach. The rainbow of fluids, I pale to think on you! Instead, we press on like brave ones to the sixteenth year of Fran's life in the woods under the fairies. They were like three mothers to the furry adorable one; three angry, vacant, bossy mother hens. See how I make the metaphor? Al-Cid, the learned one am I! _

_Ah, here she is now, apple of the eye and orange of the throat. They keep her as the peasant girl, but still how beautiful she grows to be! The fairies' gifts, they all have come true, with the beauty and the singing and the dying. But the dying not so much, yet. We see later, I will get back to you. And this being the day of prophesy, we see now if the fairies do good on keeping this one alive. Perhaps she lives longer in Rozarria? How now can we tell?_

Fran's long furry ears twitched as she heard the voices of her aunts below in the kitchen. She knew each of their voices so well now, and wondered why they didn't stop to remember that with ears so long and sensitive she could hear their every word.

"I like this one the best, with the shoulders up a little bit," Aunt Ashe's voice came. The rustling of pages followed, also with a muttered insult from Aunt Vaan.

"Oh, like _you_ care about modesty," he grumbled, although Ashe either ignored it or didn't hear.

"OOH!" Aunt Penelo squealed, "look at the _ruffles_!"

"How about something, I dunno, _good_?" Vaan suggested, flipping through the pages.

"Well, what do _you_ suggest, Vaan?" Ashe bristled.

"Oh! Oh! Pick me!"

"...Yes, Penelo?"

"A cake! A big, fancy, big old cake! With _ruffles_!"

"Yes, a cake and a dress. We've discussed this. Weren't you paying attention?" Ashe asked impatiently.

"Ooh! Butterfly!!" Penelo launched off to chase the insect around the room, waving her arms about in glee. Just as she ran past the stairs, Fran waltzed down, smirking knowingly. Ashe started, throwing the book with the dresses out the window before Fran could see.

"Fran! You're awake!"

"I am." She looked about, smirking at the still-flailing Penelo. "And I feel you have endeavored to hide something from me."

"What, _us_?" Vaan implored innocently. "Never! We just, ah..."

"Berries!" Penelo bleated, pulling a cartwheel across the kitchen into a well-stacked pile of bowls. As they crashed to the floor, one rolled to Ashe's feet. She picked it up and shoved it in Fran's direction.

"Right! BERRIES! We need some berries for some vague and unexplainable reason, and you're the only one who has the power to collect them!"

"The berries have been picked before, two days of late," Fran said objectionably.

"We need more!" Vaan insisted. "A ridiculous amount of berries! The Gods demand a berry sacrifice! You don't wanna upset the _Gods_, do ya Fran?"

"Of course not," Fran gave a knowing nod, took the bowl, and allowed herself to be pushed out of the cottage by an over-enthusiastic Aunt Penelo.

Vaan leaned confidentially over to Ashe. "Think she suspects?"

"No, I do not," Fran called back from the end of the path.

"Well, good," Vaan grinned and stepped back inside the cottage with the other two. Fran shook her head.

"My trio of imbeciles," she murmured fondly, then set off into the wood.

With Fran gone, the fairies were set to go about their work. Penelo bounced to the kitchen, looking wound-up on something. Ashe clapped her hands together in preparation.

"Oh, will Fran ever be surprised! A real birthday party!"

"Yeah, last year all we got her were berries," Vaan said absently. "So, we gonna get the wands?"

"_What?!_" Ashe thundered, looking fierce. "Never! We must never use the wands! Their power is too great!"

"Okay, Creepy," Penelo mused.

"Well, how am I s'posed to make a big ol' fancy cake without wands?" Vaan seemed unfazed by Ashe's warning.

"Oh, Penelo is going to make the cake," Ashe said, waving Vaan off nonchalantly.

"With ruffles! And flowers! And... And..."

"You've gotta be kidding!" Vaan pleaded. "You think _I'm_ bad at cooking, she's gonna make the house blow up!"

"Get over it, and help me make the dress," Ashe demanded, pointing at a nearby stool.

"What, out of a stool?"

"No! You stand on the stool and be the dummy. Not that that's much of a stretch..."

From the kitchen, they could hear crashing and giggling, followed by Penelo's voice muttering, "Cups, cups, cups, cups..."

"What?" Vaan cried as Ashe threw a sheet of pink fabric over his head. "Pink?! I'm allergic to pink! Make it blue!"

"You are _not_," Ashe grumbled, cutting odd shapes into the fabric. "Besides, I decided pink is her favorite color."

"Bossy little--" She cut Vaan off as she tied a ribbon tight near his neck. He made an odd choking noise and waved at his face under the pink fabric. "Can't... breathe..."

"Eggs!" Penelo called from the kitchen, and Ashe winced as two splattered to the floor.

"This dress reeks," Vaan pointed out as he finally found a head-hole.

"That's because _you're_ wearing it," Ashe pointed out moodily.

"What's yeast?" Penelo asked, poking her head in.

"The opposite of east, I think," Vaan said sagely.

"Oh, right!" Penelo grinned and turned back to the kitchen, throwing a compass into the mixing bowl.

"My goodness," Ashe sighed as she measured up the sloppy pink dress with her eyes. "That girl sure has grown."

"It seems just like yesterday we snuck out the back door of the castle in the dead of night to hide in these dark woods..." Vaan muttered, looking nostalgic.

"Just a widdle furry baby," Penelo mused, rocking the mixing bowl gently.

"And tomorrow," Ashe began to tear up, "we won't have her to our own anymore."

"THE PAIN!!" Penelo cried, throwing her arms up and loosing the mixing bowl into the air.

"Oh, brother," Van rolled his eyes. "Good riddance, little furry baby."

"Don't cry, Vaan," Ashe sobbed, mopping up her tears. "We knew this day had to come! We had her for sixteen years, after all."

"Sixteen miserable years," Vaan grumbled, trying to escape from the tangle of a pink 'dress'.

"OH, we're acting like ninnies!" Ashe crowed, and she was nearly decapitated by the falling mixing bowl. "Come on, we've got to finish this!"

It was a beautiful midmorning, and the sun shone through the hazy treetops to light up the undergrowth. It swelled deep in Fran's chest, and she felt the odd desire to sing out with reckless abandon. After all, no one but adorable furry creatures lived in the forest beside herself and her aunts. So, sucking air into her lungs, Fran began to sing.

_But, you see, she sings not just any silly old song. No, she sings the song of hopeless romantics, of the lonely, lonely dove without another to coo alongside with. See, her three overbearing auntie-faries are keeping her secret from the boys, which is shame of shames! She is beautiful and wants to see the boys. This is not so bad, is it? Yes, she sings for Love maybe to find her, and perhaps to bring chocolate. Bring some for Al-Cid, won't you, Love?_

Berry-less, Fran sang herself into a clearing, where flocks of birds had appeared to listen to her song. All other assortments of creatures gathered around her, birds twittering along, and one fat owl humming a counter harmony.

Far in the distance, however, someone else was listening to her song. A handsome young man sat atop a bright white chocobo, which was grazing quietly. Fran's beautiful song lilted to their location, and the man's ears perked up, looking about for the source of the noise.

_Ah, but this is not just a silly boy on a giant bird-horse! This is Prince Balthier, the little snotty boy from Act One! Oh, chances, what are you for this rare meeting? Come, let us watch what happens now, for my popcorn, she is finally done._

"Do you hear that, Sampson?" Balthier asked, patting the head of the white chocobo. It looked utterly uninterested and continued to eat. "It sounds fantastic," Balthier continued. "Let's go find out what it is, shall we?"

He jerked the chocobo's reigns, and it warked angrily in return. He scowled down at his mount, leaning down in confidentiality.

"I see. Well, I speak that language as well. What is your price? An extra bucket of feed?"

Sampson sniffed haughtily.

"Hmm. Perhaps some... greens?"

Balthier had to sit up quickly to avoid being head-butted as Sampson's head jerked up with a quick 'WARK!'

"Ha HAH! That's the spirit! Let's be off!" He kicked Sampson in the ribs, and they galloped heroically off into the wood. Balthier hummed his own personal theme song in his head as they rode toward the sound of the beautiful lady's voice.

As he failed to pay attention, Sampson leapt over a creek and clothes-lined Balthier with a low-hanging branch. The prince was left soaking in the small creek, adjusting his soiled shirtcuffs and scowling up at the smug chocobo.

"_No_ greens for you, you fiend."

_Will the prince find our furry Fran? Will his shirtcuffs survive this tragedy? My shirtcuffs, they feel for yours, Prince Balthier. I am on the tenderest of hooks waiting for brilliant conclusion. But, what is this you say? We must wait for the next act? Cruelty! Al-Cid will not stand for this! Ah, but the story, she must be narrated. Rozarria can wait, my friends, so long as you do not leave me. This would be cruelty highest of all._

* * *

AN: Hello, all, it's me The Shoeless One again. Sorry this fella took so long to get up, but our internet connection is unstable at best right now. Hope this is up to expectations, and all that good stuff. My brother is next up again for the following chapter. Honestly, I'm having a great time writing this, and I hope y'all are liking it as much as we are. Soo, lemme know what you think, if anything should be fixed, and leave some love. Happy reading and have a great 4th! 


End file.
